Red and pink hearts, candies in every shape and size. Cards of friendship and love. Many look forward to Valentine’s day because the love they have from others is on full display. The first Valentines day people spend together when they are in love comes with excitement and anticipation. Unfortunately, grief on Valentines Day often is common.
Those same pink hearts and boxes of chocolate can also bring up feelings of sadness and loneliness. For many they are a reminder of what is missing in their lives. Some have gone through a recent breakup or have been living the single life. For others it may be a trigger for their grief over the loss of a loved one.
Better To Have Loved
They say, “it’s better to have loved and loss then to have never loved at all.” Yes, you can take comfort in the fact they you had the chance to have love in your life. But nothing can eliminate the pain associated with their passing, especially feeling grief on Valentines Day.
There are some healthy ways to acknowledge Valentine’s Day even after loss. When someone dies, much of the grief associated with it comes from all the things that you will no longer have. If it was a spouse, you are missing daily companionship and that intimate love and care. You will not receive the Valentines Day card or bouquet of roses they so thoughtfully picked out every year. More than anything humans desire love and connection. When the person that gave you that is gone, Valentines Day can feel very lonely. There is hope though, because Valentine’s day is not only for those who are currently in love, but for all those who have known true love.
5 Ways to Remember Your Valentine’s Day Angel.
- Enjoy the favorite treat of your loved one. If they loved caramel chocolates in a box shaped like a heart. Go out and buy it for yourself. Reminisce on the joy they got out of splurging with something sweet.
- Hand out Valentine’s cards at a nursing home or retirement housing. The best medicine is serving others. Surely there will be another who is also grieving their spouse on this day. Helping others feel love is the best way to brighten our spirits.
- Write a letter to them and tell them how much you miss them. Also write how you are carrying on their love and living in a way that their life inspired. You can keep the letter each year and reflect on how much their love has impacted you.
- Write a list of how you continue to feel their love even after they have passed. Post the list somewhere you can see it regularly as a reminder that your love surpasses death. This can help you work through your grief on Valentines Day.
- Find an article of clothing of theirs and have it made into a teddy bear or a pillow. When you are feeling lonely and miss them you can cuddle up with the bear or pillow and feel a little closer to them.
Love is intended to last longer than time, span the veil of death and continue everlastingly. -Robert L. Millet