Today we will be digging deeper into the Enneagram type 1 and how this personality type deals with grief. If you missed our introduction to the Enneagram, make sure to check it out here.
Introduction to Type One on the Enneagram
|Type||Identifies powerfully with:||Their goal is to sustain the self image of being:|
|1||The superego, with the capacity to evaluate, compare, measure and discern experiences or things. Resists recognizing anger-based tension.||Reasonable Moderate “Good”
Sensible Prudent Rational
Type one: Also called the reformer or the perfectionist. Likes to get things done well. Is organized, ethical, orderly, impatient, critical, resentful.
When someone first looks at the Enneagram, you will most likely be presented with both the benefit and the impairment of each personality type. This is especially beneficial in understanding how it relates to the way we grieve. The very best of us and the very worst of us comes out often in moments of extreme emotion. Exclaiming for joy when our team wins the championship, laughing a boisterous laugh when surrounded by family and friends we love. Screams and wails of torment when we experience trauma and loss. The way that we experience the highest of the highs and the lowest of the lows reveal personality types more than ever.
A type one is a known perfectionist. She does not want to make any mistakes and if she does she beats herself up relentlessly for having done so. She is very self-disciplined. If she says she will do it, she finds a way to get it done. She believes it is her responsibility to leave the world a better place than she found it. Is always finding ways to be a better person. She often feels that she tries harder than others to do things correctly. She can be very critical of herself and others.
How A Type One Deals with Grief: Benefits and Impairments
As we discussed earlier, there are benefits and impairments of every personality type. What may be a benefit in one area of life becomes an impairment in another. The way that someone grieves is connected very much to personality type. The following are some typical characteristics of type one and next to them are the possible impairments and benefits of each in relation to their process of grief.
|Type 1 Characteristics||Benefit||Impairment|
|Internalized anger||Being able to compartmentalize grief and stay in control emotionally||Depression|
|High expectations of self and others||Being able to maintain lifestyle and work ethic despite the grief and pain they may feel||Not giving grace to self or others when they are struggling|
|Afraid of making wrong choices||Often great in planning a funeral because they will put a lot of thought and effort into making it the best it could be.||Feelings of shame and guilt if they did not have a “perfect” relationship with a loved one before they pass.|
|Can’t relax, too much to be done||Important things get done quickly and correctly, which is very important when dealing with the aftermath of a death.||Self care goes by the wayside which can be unhealthy mentally and physically.|
|Perfectionism||Analyze the small details to see how they can be better people or help others in their grief.||Can feel there is something wrong with them for not “feeling” better yet.|
This is just a small sample of how this personality type will deal with grief. I encourage everyone to find out their Enneagram type and dig deeper into understanding themselves. There is great value in knowing your feelings and how you respond to trauma and grief. It could be the next step on your road to a brighter future.