Grieving and the Enneagram: Type Two Personality September 26, 2019

Enneagram Type Two

The memorial is over, the guests have left to process their grief on their own. As you sit you wonder, did I do enough for her while she was alive. Did she know that I loved her. You are startled by the buzzing noise made from your cell phone in vibrate mode. It was left on during the service because someone may have needed to contact you and heaven forbid you were not available when they called. You say hello with your cheery voice only slightly subdued by your grief. It is your sister and her young child has left their sweater at the church, you quickly answer, “no problem I will bring it to you.” If this sounds like you, chances are that you are a type 2 on the Enneagram. Today we are talking about the Enneagram type 2 and how they most often deal with grief.

The Helper

Two’s are known as “The Helper”. They are always the first one to lend a helping hand and often the last one to leave. They are that amazing person that everyone loves because they will stay after an event and tear down chairs and tables. Oh how I love an Enneagram Type Two who is always willing to serve and be there for the hard part of any party or event, set up and take down.  Every organization, family or group of people will be better off with a type 2 in the mix.  

Enneagram Type Two Strengths

Like every personality each has its strengths and weaknesses. Times of stress and grief have the tendency to really display both in full force.  A type two who is dealing with the grief of losing a loved one is so used to helping others and being available that they are a great people to plan and execute funeral and memorial services. If you are 2 use that to your advantage. Whether you are the one in charge or someone else is, you can use your strengths to take some of the burden off of others who are also dealing with grief in their own way.  Find out what the priorities are and what needs to get done. You will be able to serve your family and the memory of your loved one by using your giving heart to honor them.  

Enneagram Type Two Weaknesses

While your tendency to always be the helper is your greatest strength, it also can become your biggest weakness. As you are experiencing grief, remember that you cannot do everything. Make sure you are setting appropriate boundaries for yourself so you don’t get completely worn out. Taking time for yourself is important and necessary, even if it doesn’t always feel like it. 


As you spend time thinking about all the things that you wish you could have done before they passed, remember all that you have already done. Even if it is little things. Remember “little things make big things happen.” When in the midst of trauma and tragedy it is easy for you to do too much and feel as though you can’t do enough.  No matter how much you may want to you can not heal others grief. You can only walk alongside them. Use all that you are gifted with to do just that. 

Looks at Both the Healthy and Unhealthy Aspects

Below is a table that lists the qualities that will arise when a type 2 is at their healthiest and unhealthiest.  Acknowledging both can help you manage the negative and embrace the positive. Take a look at each and if you find yourself sinking into the unhealthy side, find support. Remember feeling anxiety or being overtired is not wrong in itself. It is simply a signal to you that something needs to change so that you can return back to the healthy side.  Know yourself and recognize when you are reaching your limits. Seek support for yourself through grief support groups and make connections.


Healthy Unhealthy
Creative and self-nurturing Hard time placing boundaries for “alone” time, or “work time”
Generous with time and love to help Sleep deprived
Easy to confide in, great listener Can become full of rage, often suppressed
Connects well with people Anxiety


For more information on the Enneagram, read our other articles on the Enneagram and make sure to check back for how other Enneagram types deal with grief:
How Knowing Your Enneagram Helps You Deal With Grief
Grieving and the Enneagram: Type One Personality

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