Grieving and the Enneagram: Type Seven Personality November 7, 2019

Enneagram Type Seven

I knew she couldn’t live forever, but it was as if she was bigger than life and more than just human. She was a friend to everyone, a true adventurer. She created an environment when we were kids where dreams came true and fun was a requirement of the day.  As she grew older her life only seemed more full of life and love. The experiences she gave us were but a map of the places we would go when she was gone. Not only will we find her there but we will find ourselves as well. 

 

Characteristics of an Enneagram 7

If you are a type 7 Enneagram personality type the above story may be something you identify with.  An Enneagram type 7, “the enthusiast” is always up for a last minute adventure. If you found that you are a type 7 you may identify with these characteristics:

  • Being optimistic to a fault
  • FOMO- Fear of Missing out
  • Believing anticipation is the best part of life. 
  • Being popular and having lots of friends 
  • Tend to avoid confrontation and heavy conversation
  • Can be argumentative and act superior

 

The Best and Worst of the Type 7

The story above is a good example of how our personalities influence they way that we grieve. As a 7 the woman in the story above was grieving someone very special in her life. She decided to use her spontaneity and enthusiasm to go on an adventure in honor of her loved one.  When we are at our best, grief can be freeing and create a healthy outcome. An outcome where we end up feeling supported and healing begins. In contrast, grief can feel like a heavy weight. When we are at our worst certain pieces of our personality can create toxic behaviors and create overwhelming anxiety. Below you can see how a type 7 can be at their best and worst. 

Best Worst
Spontaneous Impulsive
Optimistic Scattered
Playful Distracted
versatile Overextended

 

An Enneagram 7 During Grief

An Enneagram 7 tends to try to give off the impression that they are happy all the time. It is important for them to appear that they are the life of the party, upbeat and fun. They often do this because at their best, those qualities are their strength. But they also use them to cover up the darker emotions and anxieties they may have.  

Loneliness and frustration is not something anyone wants to feel, but 7’s are more likely to put out a false self to appear as though they are not bothered by the things that bring them down. This”false self” will likely appear in times of stress such as dealing with the grief over losing a loved one. The more we understand our own personalities and how we may be more inclined to respond during times of grief we can anticipate how to manage our emotions to have the healthiest outcome. 

Read more about the other Enneagram personality types here

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