Managing Grief on Valentine’s Day February 13, 2020

Valentine's Day Grief

Valentine’s Day is here again. The stores are filled with pink and red hearts. The greeting card aisle is stocked full of love cards. But for those who are alone, Valentine’s day is a nemesis creeping up on the calendar. It’s a reminder for all the love they are missing out on.  For someone who is grieving the loss of a loved one, Valentine’s day can feel similar. A reminder of love that has passed. 

When you have lost a spouse or a loved one Valentine’s Day can be a trigger for your grief. The decorations, cards, and expressions of Valentine’s Day only make you hurt.  When it seems everyone else is happily planning date nights, you may feel more alone than ever. Here are a few ways to deal with grief on Valentine’s Day.

Ways to Manage Grief on Valentine’s Day


  1. Create a new definition of Valentine’s Day for yourself.

    Instead of thinking of it as solely a romantic holiday think about all the others whom you love and care for. Make it your goal to help others to feel loved on this day.

  2. Do make it about yourself.

    Plan a spa day and simply pamper and love yourself.  Remember that you are important simply because you are you. 

  3. Log off of social media.

     Media is constantly in your face and triggers for grief can “pop-up” literally without any warning.  If you find it hard to see others with loved ones or simply reminders of the holiday itself, turn off your social media for a day or two until there is less of it on your feed.

  4. Reach out to someone else who has experienced loss.

     They are likely to feel similar to you. They may feel alone and a little boost from a loving friend could really make their day!

  5. Write a love letter to your loved one who has passed on.

    Tell them how much you love and miss them. Write to them about how life is not the same without them. Tell them how you are keeping their love alive and how you are honoring them in your life now. Does it help writing letters for you? Here’s another letter you can write to your grief.


Holidays can stir up more grief than any other day. They are a reminder of all that we are missing out on with someone who has died.  Grief is not linear, it ebbs and flows throughout time. You may feel that you are healing and suddenly a wave of grief hits. Always remember to find support in your grief. Look to grief support groups, counseling, or even a trusted friend to express all that you are feeling. The more that you are able to process your grief the easier it will get to handle with time.  

Post a comment