Forgiveness as a Path to Healing June 19, 2020

Grieving and forgiveness

 Forgiveness as a key to Handling grief


Forgiveness is extending grace where it might not necessarily be deserved.  Pure frustration and anger that brings you to your knees and makes you feel powerless.  Grieving the loss of a loved one or loss of anything for that matter brings so many feelings and emotions.  Death is inevitable and the one thing we all have in common, everyone dies.  There are however many ways that people die. 


Someone’s cause of death can have a major impact on the way that you grieve that loss.  If only I had been there sooner. Did I enable this behavior that led to the death.  Why didn’t they talk to me about what they were feeling? These are just a few questions that can create an immense amount of guilt about feeling responsible for the death of a loved one.  Anger may flare up if a loved one passed doing something or living a lifestyle that contributed to their death. This brings up both anger and guilt.  If you feel upset with the person for leaving you, you are not alone.  


Is Lack of Forgiveness Holding you Back in Your Grief?


Anger against yourself, your loved ones or even God can stop the path of healthy grieving in its tracks.  Grief is fluid and is different for everyone. Some days you may be feeling positive and feeling as though you are going to be ok, then other days you may feel the wave of grief cover you and feel as though it’s taking you under.  There is so much about the waxing and waning that is natural and will continue to happen.  If you find yourself stuck in the anger or the denial and cannot move past that. Maybe it is time to confront where you may need to extend some forgiveness.


Forgive So You Won’t Forget


In The Gift of Forgiveness” Charles Stanley writes, “Holding onto  hurt is like grabbing a rattlesnake by the tail; you are going to be bitten. As the poison of bitterness works its way through many facets of your personality, death will occur-death that is far more reaching than your physical death. For it has the potential to destroy those around you as well.”


When grief overwhelms you it turns to anger and can turn to depression and have an effect on overall mental health.  It’s been said many times before that forgiveness is more for yourself than the other person. When you are able to start to forgive yourself, loved ones or God you can start moving toward actual healing. Forgiveness allows you to release the bitterness that has a hold on your heart and your emotions.  


If you are struggling to get past the anger and guilt and caught in an endless cycle of grief, search your heart for any un-forgiveness you may be harboring. Once you can forgive others or yourself it will clear a lot of space to heal in a healthy way.


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