1. Your grief will lie and make you believe you will always feel this way.
When you are in the depths of grief it feels as though things will never get better. Your mind gets caught up in the cycle of fear and grief. Hopelessness sets in and it seems you will feel this way forever. You will not. True, grief shows up time and time again and it changes you forever. Don’t give up hope, things will improve.
2. Night time is the hardest time for grief.
When the sun goes down and it’s just you and your thoughts, those thoughts can get carried away. The rest of the day you can fill your time and thoughts with work and friends and other distractions. Nighttime opens up a space where it feels like the loneliness and darkness floods in. So be prepared. When bedtime comes have a support system in place. Have someone who you can talk to. Give your mind something else to focus on and allow sleep and comfort to come. Read a book, do evening meditations (if that is a good fit for you). The more you can be proactive the better you can manage the grief that comes at night.
3. You may feel crazy, you’re not.
Grief ebbs and flows throughout time. Just when you feel as though you are healing that wave of emotion takes over. Years after the loss you may find yourself experiencing grief all over again as if it just happened. Your emotions are all over from despair to anger to anything in between. You may start to feel as though you are losing it. Feeling crazy will pass as well. Remember we all experience grief differently.
4. Take help, even when you don’t want to.
As I’ve mentioned grief is unique for each person. Some people need to be around others and spill all of their thoughts and feelings. Others prefer to be alone and not talk about it as much. However your grief needs are met, be sure to allow people to help you. If people offer dinners or cleaning or help of any kind you may feel guilty about allowing them to do it. Even when you feel like you don’t need it or are unsure if you should accept the help, do it. During times of grief it feels like doing anything takes so much emotional strength. That often leaves you both physically and mentally drained. The last thing you want to do during this time is cleaning and cooking. Say yes to help.
5. You will know joy again.
The depths of grief feels like a dark hole that is hard to crawl out of. When you are clawing your way out of the darkness it feels like there will never be light. You will experience pain and sorrow. Things will never be the same. Despite all the negatives, you will feel joy again.
Check back on our blog for more helpful information on grief.