You Don’t Have to Choose Between Hope and Grief December 10, 2020

don't have to choose between hope and grief

Feeling hope and grief may seem like opposites. Believe it or not, you don’t have to choose between hope and grief. It is normal to be in the midst of your grief and find hope there. It is also okay to feel so hopeful and still feel the pain of your grief. 

Hope is such a lovely word, a lovely thought. Without hope life can feel, well, hopeless. Grief can feel hopeless at times just the same. 

Grief and hope are not mutually exclusive.

 So many people feel that they are healed only when they no longer feel pain or the rush of grief no longer comes. Feelings of hope for the future can turn to guilt or feelings of betrayal when you have lost someone. Losing someone close to you can steal your joy and happiness but it can return and when it does it is something to embrace rather than feel guilt about. 

 

Thoughts on Grief

    • Grief is not fluid- it changes day to day and year to year.
    • Everyone grieves differently.- Some grasp onto the future and some can’t let go of the past.
    • The stages of grief are simply a possible outline and not the “correct way to grieve”
    • You do not have to choose between hope and grief

 

 

Thoughts on Hope

    • Hope is seeing a light at the end of the tunnel.
    • Everyone views hope differently according to their values
    • Feeling hopeful can be emotionally motivated
    • You do not have to choose between hope and grief.

 

 

What we need to know is that you can both be hopeful and be experiencing grief. 

When a loss is brand new the grief seems to be at the forefront of your mind. Sadness and pain fills your days.  As time passes the fear of letting go of whomever you lost can be scary. The grief that you feel can be the representation of your love and care for that person. When you wake up with grief, it hurts, but it also lets you know that the person you have lost is dearly missed and life is not the same without them. 

It is not uncommon to fight off the feelings of hope

…… because it may be misconstrued as forgetting the person or not missing them as much. I am here to remind you that; say it again….

You do not have to choose between hope and grief

Seeing hope for the future even after a loss is an amazing step on your way to healing. You will still feel grief, some days more than others. Life will not be the same without your loved one, but there can be hope amidst the grief. 

 

If you are struggling to find hope in your grief, reach out for support. There are so many great online and in person therapists, counselors and grief support.

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