I love to read advice columns for some reason. In one of the columns a reader wrote-in showing concern for her husband. The man would frequently talk about what he wanted at his funeral as well as other after life decisions. The problem was that he never did anything about it. He wouldn’t get it in writing. He did no actual prearranging for his funeral outside of the conversations.
While talking about your desire for after life decisions is a great way to get the ball rolling a conversation holds little to no weight when decisions need to be made and you are no longer there to confirm them.
Not being prepared for when you or a loved one dies can become a major point of contention.
Imagine this scenario: spending Saturday afternoon with your lovely grandmother and having conversations while she convinces you to eat one more of her delicious home baked cookies. You sit on the porch and talk about her as a young child, you read books together, you are the best of friends.
What you don’t want is as important as what you do want in prearranging
In these conversations Grandma has shared with you that she would love her favorite song at her funeral but she doesn’t want an open casket. She does want daisies but she doesn’t want an open mic at her funeral. When she dies your father, who is her son, prepares her funeral for her.
He never had those conversations with her and as a result his own plans and beliefs dictate the funeral plans. She did not have a plan written down. Even though you try to advocate for her it falls on deaf ears. She does not have the funeral she desired.
The scenario above is just one example to compel you to consider prearranging a funeral and get it on paper. It can feel overwhelming but you do not have to do it alone. There are services to help you get everything you need in order. That is really the best thing about actually having a plan. All those conversations and thoughts and ideas will be documented. All important paperwork will be accessible.
What to do right now
- Have that conversation about what you want
- Seek out professional services to help
- GET IT IN WRITING!
It is hard to think about how life goes on after your death. You won’t be there to make decisions about your funeral. You will not be there to protect your loved ones. Do what you can now by prearranging your funeral and have it well documented. Start your planning today.