Hey friends, let’s talk death. Specifically your death. What kind of funeral do you want? Do you want to be cremated or have a traditional burial? Do you want people to have a viewing of your body after you die? Or just a memorial to remember your life?
There are so many questions we have after someone dies and the biggest problem occurs when the answers die with them. Death and dying can be uncomfortable, awkward or uncouth to bring up but not bringing it up can lead to major conflict. Not knowing what our loved ones desired can become a guessing game and a competition of who knew them better.
Save the Drama
Many great novels start with a death in the family. The deceased’s Will has been changed unbeknownst to family members or destroyed or, oh the horrors, never prepared at all. Backstabbing and drama worthy of reality television ensues. While it is entertaining to watch from behind a TV screen you don’t want this drama to be your real life. Unless you get paid millions to have TV cameras follow you, I suggest you say “Let’s Talk Death,” and start the pre planning process.
How to Start the Conversation
“Hey [loved one] we should really talk about what type of legacy you would like to leave when you die. It is important to me that your desires are played out when you die. I am here to help you get started on writing your end of life plan.”
When to Start the Conversation
Should we wait until a person is on their deathbed to say, Let’s talk about death? It does often turn out that way, but it surely is not the best time to get started. Making thoughtful decisions with factual information and a variety of options is always the best way to go. Start that conversation NOW. Someone who is dealing with a terminal disease or family members who have suddenly lost a loved one often make emotional decisions. Making emotional decisions can compel you to go outside of the wishes of the deceased or make unsound financial commitments.
“Talking death” shouldn’t be uncomfortable. The reality is that we will all die one day. That is something we all have in common and without exception. We don’t know the day or time that it will occur. We do know that if we have loved anyone or had a relationship, whether positive or negative there will be some form of grieving involved. It is normal to grieve for the ones we love. Just as they will grieve for us when we are gone. Getting comfortable with talking about death and setting out a plan for “end of life” desires is an amazing gift to pass on.
“Let’s Talk Death” and Pre-Planning
So reach out to your parents, siblings or other loved ones. Especially if they haven’t created a pre-plan for the end of their life. Talking about death and getting a pre-plan in place can save so much drama, anxiety and grief in the end.