Finding Your “Why” In Grief Healing October 21, 2021

Finding Your “Why” In Grief Healing

Finding your “why” has become a popular catchphrase in today’s culture. If you are on a fitness journey or chasing after a goal or dream you must “find your why”. Your “Why” is just that, why do you do what you do? What keeps you going when you are tired and lack motivation?


It is very important to have the proverbial “dangling carrot” to keep you moving in the direction of your goals. Like I mentioned earlier there are a handful of places that you would identify your reason for continuing on the journey you are on. Fitness journeys, career goals, surviving incarceration or periods of isolation, mental health struggles and more. Grief healing is another area it will serve you to define your reason to continue moving forward.


As you work through your own grief story, finding your why, may be the missing piece to more complete healing. Grief is normal and when you have experienced loss grief comes along with it. Grieving is not fun, the feelings and the physical and mental toll it takes on you can wear down your resolve. 


Finding Your Why

What are your values?

When asking the question, what are my values, you could find all the answers to finding your why right there. I like to start and make a list of 3-5 things that would describe your values. Values are the ideals that you find important and choose to live by. It is important to point out that the things that we know and value when making a list, don’t always line up with what we execute in our lives. So it is important to ask yourself, Am I living my values? 

Who is important to you?

In addition to what is important to you, who is important to you is another factor in discovering your “why”. Part of your why could be to heal and go on living in honor of the one you have lost. The loved ones you have still living is another motivation. If you are a parent or a spouse, being there for those you love can be the “why” that keeps you going. 

What do you want to be when your grief is managed?

The next question you ask yourself is, who will I be when my grief is managed? I want to make it clear and remind everyone that grief is not something that is healed, period, done. Grief comes and goes overtime, it changes. There may be healing involved but it becomes a part of life. 


So back to the question. 


Who will I be or what will it look like and how will I feel when my grief is managed? The answer to this is different based on who you are. It is important to look ahead and envision what you want your grief story to look like in the future. For example, I would say I want to look back and miss my loved one. I want to hold their memories forever, but I want to wake up and smile at the legacy they left behind for me. I want to hold a space for sadness when it shows up but I want to be hopeful for the future. 


Find more grief support options here. 

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